Nighttime is the Worst Time

Originally posted on social media on May 13, 2021

The most difficult part of the day is before bed. I constantly look at my bedroom door and wait for Molly to walk in, cheerfully saying, “Mom, will you come say goodnight to me?” We always laid together in her bed. She wore cozy shorts or pants and a tank top. Her hair was wet.

We looked out her window at the night sky. Molly would pet Leroy and beg him to sleep in her bed. We talked about how much we loved each other: She said, “Mom, I’m so glad you didn’t die of cancer. Nate, Eli and I really need you. I don’t know what we would do without you.”

The moments we shared before sleep were so intimate. I sob most nights. I just want Molly to walk in and say those words again, “Mom, will you come and say good night to me? I like it when you lay with me in my bed.” The void is indescribable.

I’m working on strengthening my spiritual muscles. I can’t live without Molly. I’m learning to connect with her in a different way, on a soul level. It’s not completely unfamiliar. After all, our souls were connected before she was born.

Thank you for seeing this extraordinary soul and making space foe her in your heart. Molly was destined and determined to change the world. She is accomplishing her mission.

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